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Before you say I’m being
insensitive--after all, this is a delicate subject, right? Why would I want to analyze it? Here's some of my personal experience with suicide and mental illness. It runs in my family. I am not ashamed. People need to discuss the issues in order to understand, cope and (ultimately) manage them. My
mother shot and killed herself in 2011. There is a
long line of mental illness in my family and I will not shrink away from the topic.
It’s not my fault and it’s not something anybody who has suffered through
should be ashamed of talking about. We can learn from patterns of behavior. We can
accept that other people’s decisions are not ours. I'm a believer that certain things don’t have to
be qualified, exactly, but I do think we should learn from their choices.
The purpose of this blog entry is to introduce the humanity of suicide. I feel it's important to explain the perfect storm of personal crisis that may lead up to it. I am not a therapist. I have no degree in psychology and I suggest that you seek help if you’re having suicidal thoughts. Depression is an illness that is treatable. This is strictly based on personal life experiences. My opinions are directly related to years spent watching the people I love struggle with mental illness, and of my own experience with depression as a result. I have spent years reading, researching, and observing various aspects of psychology in relation to bi-polar, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, and suicide in an effort to better understand.
When the subject of suicide comes up, you can almost see people cringe. Just the very thought of talking about mental illness makes them squirm. In America taking your own life is considered a horrible thing for many reasons; primarily because it goes against one's religion. The history of suicide predates the history of religion, which makes complicates the concept. In some cases, people committed suicide for their religious beliefs and were considered martyrs or saints after the fact. For example, the ancient Egyptians believed taking one's own life was acceptable if a person suffered from unbearable physical or mental trauma. Socrates was the first to say our lives were a gift from the Gods, and shouldn't be ours to take away, but suicide wasn't officially condemned until the middle ages. Even then, people were still doing it for religious purposes. There were too many people killing themselves for the sake of martyrdom, so religious judgement and condemnation were handed out in order to control the act. Are we really horrified at these unfortunate souls' eternal descent into damnation? Or is it possible we've become a society that doesn't want to see the parts of life that are unavoidable? Of course we don't want to lose our loved ones but, in reality, the ugly, unplanned, and all too real things that nobody wants to talk about; death, illness, and old age are beyond our control.
Robin Williams had the perfect suicide storm brewing for years, I think. According to my research, he struggled with anxiety, depression, addiction, and a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. For someone who already had a full plate, mentally and emotionally, a diagnosis of Parkinson’s might have been the tipping point. The man with lightening quick wit and an amazing ability to find a way to make everything funny was going to lose his ability to control his body. Maybe the diagnosis was too much and the stress of facing this particular illness was the final straw for him. Who can judge him for that? It's not a cowardly thing at all. In fact, in my opinion, it was his right.
The purpose of this blog entry is to introduce the humanity of suicide. I feel it's important to explain the perfect storm of personal crisis that may lead up to it. I am not a therapist. I have no degree in psychology and I suggest that you seek help if you’re having suicidal thoughts. Depression is an illness that is treatable. This is strictly based on personal life experiences. My opinions are directly related to years spent watching the people I love struggle with mental illness, and of my own experience with depression as a result. I have spent years reading, researching, and observing various aspects of psychology in relation to bi-polar, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, and suicide in an effort to better understand.
When the subject of suicide comes up, you can almost see people cringe. Just the very thought of talking about mental illness makes them squirm. In America taking your own life is considered a horrible thing for many reasons; primarily because it goes against one's religion. The history of suicide predates the history of religion, which makes complicates the concept. In some cases, people committed suicide for their religious beliefs and were considered martyrs or saints after the fact. For example, the ancient Egyptians believed taking one's own life was acceptable if a person suffered from unbearable physical or mental trauma. Socrates was the first to say our lives were a gift from the Gods, and shouldn't be ours to take away, but suicide wasn't officially condemned until the middle ages. Even then, people were still doing it for religious purposes. There were too many people killing themselves for the sake of martyrdom, so religious judgement and condemnation were handed out in order to control the act. Are we really horrified at these unfortunate souls' eternal descent into damnation? Or is it possible we've become a society that doesn't want to see the parts of life that are unavoidable? Of course we don't want to lose our loved ones but, in reality, the ugly, unplanned, and all too real things that nobody wants to talk about; death, illness, and old age are beyond our control.
Robin Williams had the perfect suicide storm brewing for years, I think. According to my research, he struggled with anxiety, depression, addiction, and a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. For someone who already had a full plate, mentally and emotionally, a diagnosis of Parkinson’s might have been the tipping point. The man with lightening quick wit and an amazing ability to find a way to make everything funny was going to lose his ability to control his body. Maybe the diagnosis was too much and the stress of facing this particular illness was the final straw for him. Who can judge him for that? It's not a cowardly thing at all. In fact, in my opinion, it was his right.
“Parkinson’s disease is not a fatal
illness. However, it’s a degenerative disorder that usually progresses until it
leaves its patients completely debilitated. The condition usually worsens over
an average of 15 years.
The rate of
progression and its course varies among patients. The course is relatively
benign in some patients with little disability after twenty years and may be
more aggressive among others who may be severely disabled after ten years.
Those with an early onset Parkinson’s disease have shorter life spans than
those with later-onset disease.”
(By Dr Ananya Mandal, MD)
In general, we’re not conditioned to respond to illness with bright
happy attitudes. It’s really hard to adjust to chronic illness. Knowing your
life will never be the same can take a heavy toll on your mind. A form of PTSD, if you will. The following
excerpt is from ‘Coping With Chronic Illness and Disability', by Honoch Livneh
and Erin Martz:
“…when
confronted by a significant loss that is ongoing, unrelenting, and has no
foreseeable end, the affected person is frequently launched, by way of
traumatic disruptions, into a never-imagined life. The unchosen life of coping
with permanent disability or chronic, imposed demand resulting from loss of the
expected, assumed, dreamed-of, or normative future, and its replacement by an
unwanted, often initially terrifying, new reality.”
You might be surprised how
often thoughts of suicide cross the minds of people with chronic pain.
According to the latest statistics, elderly men in their 80’s commit suicide
more than any other demographic, not because a black man is president, but
because they’re old, in pain, lonely or depressed.
According to SAVE, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education,
suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the US. 50% of deaths
by suicide are firearm related. The is hope; nearly 80% of people seeking help for
depression are treated successfully. If you want help, there is
help. There are steps you can take if you suffer chronic pain and illness to
help make life easier. There are endless blogs and articles online that will
connect you to step by step remedies for getting out of your funk. If you have access to a computer then you can find support groups, home remedies. Ultimately, what matters is an individuals perceived quality of life.
Death, suffering, illness...these things are part of life. Nobody really wants to talk about it. I see mental and physical suffering all the time. Education is the
key to understanding this incredibly personal decision and the struggles behind what makes the 'perfect storm of suicide' for some. For some people this is their answer. Quality of life matters a great deal and I believe there should be a certain degree of acceptance. I believe in education and awareness more so because I believe an informed decision is the best decision. Death with dignity matters.
Remember this; Depression, in and of itself, is treatable. Like I mentioned before, there's an 80% success rate for those who seek professional help. If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's in your best interest to find a qualified professional to help you through. Depression is a deep dark forest and you need a guide. Forget the stigma of having the dreaded psychiatric evaluation and get yourself back to good any way you can. Start the conversation with your loved ones if you're facing terminal illness or life changing medical diagnosis. Get to the eye of the hurricane so you can think clearly before you make any decisions. This is one you can't take back.
"If you don't have liberty and self-determination, you've got nothing, that's what this is what this country is built on. And this is the ultimate self-determination, when you determine how and when you're going to die when you're suffering."
Jack KervorkianRemember this; Depression, in and of itself, is treatable. Like I mentioned before, there's an 80% success rate for those who seek professional help. If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's in your best interest to find a qualified professional to help you through. Depression is a deep dark forest and you need a guide. Forget the stigma of having the dreaded psychiatric evaluation and get yourself back to good any way you can. Start the conversation with your loved ones if you're facing terminal illness or life changing medical diagnosis. Get to the eye of the hurricane so you can think clearly before you make any decisions. This is one you can't take back.
SAVE, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education:
Coping Strategies for Chronic Illness:
Parkinson’s Disease:
Robin Williams death:
UT Medical Center breakthrough in treatment of depression:
Image credits
Man on bench: hikren/shutterstock
Tree: luxuryrehab.com
